Sunday, September 24, 2006

Confessions of an anti-post evangelical

I've been thinking about the following all day, thus why this particular posting is so long. Props to you if you get through it, just for showing interest in my ramblings. I'd love it if y'all tell me what you think about this particular movement that has emerged (pun COMPLETELY unintended) of the post-evangelical.

Before I get into the meat of this particular blog, I suppose I should probably explain what I mean by anti-post evangelical, because I know that makes me sound all reactive and anti-change etc. I actually find post-evangelical readings quite engaging and very valid (reference Michael Spencer a.k.a Internetmonk or Mark Driscoll or Brain McLaren to a certain extent). What I do tend to sense, however, and I expound on this further in the conclusion of my post, is the hostility that they seem to engender/hold against the "evangelical" church as it is labelled. Now I definately see something wrong with fat cat churches that hoard their material blessings given to them and selfishly spend it only on themselves instead of being good stewards with what God has given them. At the same time, in our rebukes are we being loving? Are we trying to understand the difficulty of moving away from ingrained habits? How hard (and as Calvinists argue impossible) is it to move away from your lifestyle of sin to become a child of God? Have we forgotten that the most basic step to becoming a Christian is one of the most gut-wrenching life changing decisions one will ever make? While (to use some common labels that are floating around) yuppy, pomo young adults (and I speak not of you Lydia Low :) ) are becoming disillusioned with the institutionalization and traditions of the church, I find myself becoming disillusioned with the disillusionment (if that makes any sense at all). Reading all of these "post-evangelical" readings, I read a very interesting comment that someone made asking "What makes you POST evangelical if you're just moving back to the roots of what Christianity was in the first century? Are you simply using the word post because you came from the evangelical group?" I would agree with that for does that mean being an evangelical makes you post-Catholic? Or post-Reformationist? I think not. Now for the main course of this post. (geez... that's a lot of usages of the word POST.)

The church that I've been attending recently went on a retreat this past weekend and invited a pastor by the name of Soong Chan Rah to be the main speaker of the retreat. His credentials are that he founded an inner city church in Cambridge that became hugely involved in the poverty and suffering of the neighbourhood that they planted themselves in, and having a great impact on it. He now goes around the continent speaking about his experiences and the deeper Biblical principles for what they did in Cambridge and how that can be applied in different settings (Young Nak is hardly in the middle of the inner city, more like in the middle of industrial factory land).

I liked his sermon. He preached on Amos 5:18-24 and about the part where Amos goes "Woe on you" to the wealthy and affluent of Isrealite society. It was an interesting application to current immigrant Asian culture and how we spend the material and educational blessings that God has given unto us. Do we use it to glorify God and worship him properly? Do we use it to see justice done here on earth by feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, and sheltering the homeless? And my personal addendum, do we use it to see that those hungry, naked, and homeless also receive nourishment, clothing, and shelter for their spiritual state as well? He argued that most of us don't, that we use this wealth to make an impenetrable bubble that we call the church and ride along until judgment day.

That in and of itself was very interesting (he preached his sermon almost like a university lecture... which was really cool). But what I found even more interesting was the underpinnings of post-evangelicalism that ran through his sermons. In isolation, that was not what was so interesting. What was interesting was that, beginning with this summer and with Les, and with a blog that I read last night (as well as the discussions I've been hearing about the Emergent and the Emerging - there IS apparently a difference - church movements) I've been hearing a lot about this post-evangelical movement. Just last night (or this morning I guess... it was 3 AM) I read this article by a guy calling himself the internet monk. Very interesting read and I didn't entirely disagree with the content of his article. The discussion that follows is even more interesting.

-note... read the article before reading the rest of this post. I don't want to taint your mind with my thoughts before you get a chance to form thoughts of your own. I would also at this time like to give props to Brad and Peter Thurley for slowly but surely guiding me TO the internetmonk. I don't disagree with any of his theology that I've read so far... just his philosophy.-

What I DID find disconcerting about this post was the underpinning of almost hostility that I sensed from this blog. I got the feeling that he was pointing his finger at these rich suburban churches and condeming what they were doing. Maybe he wasn't but that's what it sounded like. Because content wise I don't disagree with him. A $300 ski retreat (and that's US dollars) does seem slightly ridiculous to me... you don't need to spend $300 to talk about extreme discipleship and getting geared up to change the world (although I wonder how much of our summit costs are subsidized... because I may be sticking my foot in my mouth with that :P). But at the same time, it's a huge step of faith for someone to say I'm going to give that up and give that money to a church plant in India, and do it with the right mindset. For the act of giving money to a church plant could very easily just turn into a condescending, "let's help those poor Christians out in India out of the overflow of our wealth." It would be just as bad, in my view, to do that, although the outcome of the 300 dollars spent is most definately quite different.

The challenge that he gives is quite valid, but many people will read that and say "where does he get the authority to challenge my comfort like that?!" for only once does he reference scripture in his post (and that in someone else's quote, so technically he didn't ever quote scripture in his post). When I read that, and in light of the sermon that I heard today, I thought of the rich young prince that approached Jesus and asked him what he needed to do to gain eternal life. Jesus answers him, "You know the commandments, follow them." The rich young man responds, "All these I have kept since I was a boy, but what do I still lack?" (acc. to Matthew.) And according to Mark Jesus goes straight into "One thing you lack, that you sell everything you have, give to the poor and you will have treasures in heaven. T hen come, follow me." But before Jesus said this, Mark says that Jesus "looked at him and loved him"(emphasis added) [Mark 10:17-21; Matthew 19:16-21]. How many of these people that condemn that rich young man for being unable to sell all his possessions and give to the poor do so as they love him. How many of these rebuking comments towards the rich fat cat church that has developed in much of North America do so in love. I wonder.

--addendum--
A thought occured to me today. Though a very gross generalization, it does hold true in most cases. I was talking about my mother with one thing, and the idea of likes being able to identify and speak to each other came up. She made the point that rich people won't really listen to the Gospel when it comes from some homeless poor persons mouth, but will be more likely to listen to another person from the same community. Likewise, the poor person living in the inner city is less likely to listen to that "high brow religion" of them "rich white folk." They will listen to either someone that they can identify with, or someone they feel will listen to them. It's the concept of being all people to all people (or something like that). A suburban evangelical isn't going to change the mind of a "post-evangelical," and neither is the post-evangelical going to change the mind of the evangelical, as long as neither is willing to come to the same level and genuinely talk to each other.

Monday, September 18, 2006

I <3 Lost and founds

Two weeks ago, I left the copy of Anna Karenina that I had borrowed from the library on the bus. I thought it was lost forever. Then the thought of checking the TTC lost and found at Bay Station occurred to me. However, if you know anything about Toronto, Bay is about a gajillion miles away from me (alright, so maybe it isn't but it's REALLY out of the way).

But today I went to court (for an assignment), and was downtown. So I decided to stop into the lost and found.

And guess what. You probably already have.

I FOUND MY BOOK! Nobody took it, so I'm assuming that as they were cleaning up, they picked it up and dropped it off at the lost and found. So now I can finally find out what happens between Vronsky, Anna, and Karenin, and how Kitty and Levin's marriage works out.

Friday, September 15, 2006

Me in a trenchcoat?

Now that's a scary thought.

Yet it was a scary thought that occurred to me today. As I was looking at Hannah's post about the Dawson College shooting, and as I considered my reaction to the gunman that did such a thing (I thought he was a... well a generally all around bad person and a hypocritical idiot to boot) after reading the Toronto Star article about him, I thought to myself that I'm just as capable of such hatred, anger and violence that this guy had pent up in him.

In fact (and please don't let this scare you away from me, for the grace of God is much stronger than these feelings, besides which I haven't felt such feelings since... like grade 6), but I can still remember wanting to go and grab a blunt (or sharp) object and repeatedly hit people with it. In earnest. And if a gun was nearby, I would have liked to grab it and shoot said person. I have to admit that I've even often become so angry that even people that were my friends seemed to be against me (maybe that's why these crazy people shoot people that have been nice to them as well.)

Now that you all think I'm certifiably crazy and are reaching for a phone to call the police to lock me away for being a crazy maniac that will go on a shooting spree at some point in the future, I will continue by saying that however, there are so many people that love me, that have demonstrated they love me, and most of all God it known that he loves me, that I could not possibly do such things as were mentioned above. I have the good blessings to have had parents and friends that taught me the meaning of forgiveness and compassion. I have the honour of knowing such fine and amazing people as yourselves (yes you, the readers of this post... for I don't know if any strangers actually read this). I have the blessed assurance that even if all seem to turn away from me, that God has promised he will never turn his back on me.

Yes, people are scumbags. Yes, people treat each other like dirt. Yes people treat ME like dirt and it annoys me. But above and beyond all that, the most important being in the entire universe, in all of existance, and in all of history loved me in the past, loves me know, and will forever love me no matter what I do to him. And it is because of this love that I am able to love Him back. It is because of this love that I am able to love others.

It's like the song says "It's the mystery of the universe/you're the God of holiness/yet you welcome souls like me" or "Father, I can't explain this kind of love/this kind of grace/I know/I still break your heart and yet you come/to welcome me"

And so, "This is a song of praise to you/for who you are/and all that you do"

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Going to church

I know this is going to sound weird, but this Sunday was the first Sunday in a while that I went to church and left saying "I enjoyed that and want to go back."

I went to the college service for YoungNak Presbyterian Church today, and it was really good. Standard worship service format, but the praise was excellent, the message was solid, and the people there seem to be pretty cool.

What I've really missed in a church for these past three years is a praise team that was really excited about worshipping God (which this praise team really was), and a group of people my age. The church that I've been going to for the past three years is a really small church split, and the entire EM (as they're called in Korean churches - English Ministry) is a bunch of high school kids, 3/4 of which don't acutally even speak english all that well. That's not to say that they're not awesome kids... they just never get excited about things the way that I do. And so being the only one that seemed visibly excited about anything, it was draining always trying to convince them to do things or go places. They've come a long way, but now I'm just so tired and discouraged that I can't see myself staying at the church. It's become relatively self sustaining in that finally students are stepping up to leadership roles and such, but they're is nobody my age with whom I can really connect, share, and develop friendships.

I realized that for the past three years I've been craving not only solid Christian fellowship (which I have been receiving from Campus for Christ for which I am eternally grateful) but I've also been missing fellow Korean companionship. I realized that the number of friends my age that are Korean have seriously dwindled as I lost contact with all my friends from my old church, Westside.

I don't know if that sounds super ethnocentric or something, but it's the bald plain truth.

Friend's list

So I've been cruising around people's blogs and I noticed that that they have this nifty thing on their sidebar that allows people to check out their friend's blogs. Could someone enlighten me as to how to do this?

Epiphanies come at the strangest times

I was standing in my room when suddenly something struck me. God has been trying to tell me to submit to authority for the past long LONG while, and like the stubborn mule that I am, I haven't been listening.

I've been having serious issues with submitting to authorities placed over me. I chafe, I grumble, I dissent, I rebel, and generally just act stupid. Not always, but I do a lot. Interestingly, all this summer I'm being told by multiple sources, all completely indepedent of one another about the importance of submitting to authorities and submitting to God and how that relates.

This summer, at Montreal, we studied 1 Peter. 1 Peter's all about suffering as a Christian and submitting to authority. The pastor at the church that I started going to is preaching a sermon about the necessity of submitting to God and all the other authorities that have been placed over us. Even Dan MacDonald preached about submitting to God the one week that I decided to go to Grace Toronto.

The biggest relation that I have sensed so far from studying 1 Peter and all these sermons (and some other things that my parents have told me - because they have been an integral part of this revelation) is that if I can't even obey and submit to the authorities that I see here on earth, that I can hear with my ears, that I can touch and probably understand, how in the world am I going to obey and submit to a God in heaven of whom I do not see, hear or touch. And by refusing to submit to earthly authorities, I'm implicitly refusing to submit to God's authority because it is by God's authority that these earthly authorities have been placed over me.

I think the first step that I need to take to properly submit myself is to truly humble myself before God. I need to lay my pride down at God's feet and then go about living my life as if it is through God's strength. My new theme verse is 1 Peter 4:11 "If any man speak, let him speak as the oracles of God; if any man minister, let him do it as of the ability which God giveth: that God in all things may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom be praise and dominion for ever and ever. Amen" (KJV)

Friday, September 08, 2006

THe swirlings of a madman

Staring at my computer screen
In an oblivious swirlA
ll confused about what to do
Or even what to think

Thoughts go floating in and out
Hatred, anger, love
Why are strong emotions so
nauseously confusing?

Do this do that
the finger pointers point
go here go there
everyone else cries

Swearing bubbles up
then gets forced back down
Attempts at breathing all break down
and leaves me in despair.


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That's not a copy and paste by the way. I'm all upset, confused, and acting weird. It doesn't even rhyme i know, but I was going more for rhythm and beat then rhyme.