An Internet Fast

I will be taking an internet fast over the next month in an attempt to reprioritize and refocus myself on where I need to be. I MAY post from time to time if some sort of imminent thought comes up, but at least now you have an explanation for why I am disappearing for so long.

See you all on the other side.

Fame: All it's cracked up to be?

In the past few months (as hockey season was just starting to get exciting with first the Leafs and then the Habs going on downhill slides that eventually ended their seasons) I began to think about my life, specifically what I've accomplished. I then began to compare myself with those with immense amounts of fame and fortune, names that are talked about all the time. Now I'm not talking here about famous actors/actresses that have been around for ages or what not. More specifically I got to thinking about people like Alexander Ovechkin or Sydney Crosby - people who aren't that much older or younger than I am. S'matter of fact, Sydeney Crosby, at 19 years old, is one of the main reasons that the Pittsburgh Penguins landed fourth seed this season to face the Ottawa Senators in round one of the Stanley Cup playoffs.

I began to ask myself, what have I done that is worthy of note? If a reporter were to come up to me for an exclusive interview, what would I be able to say that I've done. The answer was that I've done nothing that would catch the public eye. But then I began to consider, but who cares? What does any of that really matter? This however lead to a deeper question that did begin to concern me, although I (shamefully) admit I never acted on it. The question was as follows: If God were to come to me and ask me for an exclusive interview, what would I say that I had done. I would have to hang my head, look at my toes and respond, "I don't know."

Maybe I'm not being fair to myself. I've gone sharing (whenever it was suggested, rarely on my own initiative), I've had my fair share of time to build into young lives - encourage them, challenge them, and in some cases see them step up into roles of leadership. Maybe something's happened. But these past two years I've been incredibly unfaithful to the Great Commission. I haven't taken the time to go sharing, not only myself but with the guys in my discipleship group. I haven't taken the time to have one-on-one discipleship sessions with said same guys. The way I see it, the LORD has entrusted me to these things for this short time, and I have not been faithful... and if I can't be faithful with even 6 men, how can I be trusted with more.

It's a sobering thought, one with which I have not yet fully come to grips. And as always, I find it difficult to figure out how to end this. This will be as good an ending as any. Forgive me, I should be studying for a calculus exam that will be happening in approximately 12.5 hours.

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In Addendum:
If your wondering how I knew that Pittsburgh seeded fourth back in February 10, the simple answer is that I didn't. I started writing this blog back then, but never finished. This was actually written on April 12, 2007.

Hockey, Faith, and Love

The Saturday before the all-star break (at Meatfest and Manhood - January 20, 2007) the Pittsburgh Penguins played the Toronto Maple Leafs at home and absolutely spanked them by outshooting, outscoring, and just outplaying the Leafs for a final outcome of 8-2. This led me to the decision that henceforth I would disown the Leafs and that I was no longer a Leafs fan. But as I went back to school on Monday and opened to the sports section of the Toronto Star, news about the Leafs, about Leafs players, and anything to do with the Leafs still popped out at me. I was mildly annoyed and skipped right to basketball (ah the Raptors...). This kept on happening however and so I sat down and really thought about my relationship with the Leafs. And finally, just before the beginning of the all-star game, I made the decision that indeed I was still a Leafs fan. My head was trying to tell me one thing, but my heart was already dead set upon the fact that I had put my faith and love (in hockey terms anyway) in the Leafs.

Shortly afterwards, after the Leafs had just defeated the New York Rangers to gain a 3 game winning streak, I realized that my decision to disown, and then reclaim the Leafs as my team couldn't have come at a better time. Instead of looking like a bandwagon hopping buffon, that time of doubt came across as a time of "let's-think-about-our-relationship." This led me to think about how useful such timeouts often tend to be in personal relationships (not from personal experience) as one considers the fact that despite what that other person did, you still love them. [More on this strain later.]

This then led me to another thought; THIS is the definition of faith. Doubt does not negate faith; doubt can actually strengthen faith as we take time to think about what it is that we truly believe. During this little time of reflection about the Leafs, I decided that even though they have failed to claim the Cup for the past 39 years (soon to be 40... I'm a fan, but I have to be realistic), I will continue to put my faith in them that eventually it will happen within my lifetime. In the same way, I have put my faith and hope in Christ as the one and only way to God; I have put my faith and hope in God's word that it the commands and encouragements in it are meant for me to hear and to act upon. And though I doubt it for but a moment, I always return because my heart knows what is right - that this is the one and only Word of God and that it can be believed.

I've been thinking about this all the more as I've been considering some of the things that I've read at this site that attempts to debunk Christianity. I sat down and really thought about why I believe the Bible as the Word of God and why I believe that Christ is the only way to get to God. I had what I call a Billy Graham moment.

One of Billy Graham's contemporaries was a man named Chuck Templeton. Chuck Templeton, like Graham, was an evangelist of even greater renown than Billy Graham; his crusades drew more people and led more people to Christ than any other at the time. But Chuck Templeton eventually decided that he no longer believed the faith that he was preaching and fell away from the faith. Chuck Templeton then challenged Billy Graham about the supremacy of the Word of God. Billy, troubled and disturbed, went into the woods where he practiced his preaching to the swoops and alligators, opened his Bible on a stump, and prayed. He decided then and there that he would believe that this was the word of God and that he DID believe that Christ was indeed the Saviour of mankind. That was Billy Graham's "moment" and I have had made a similar declaration - that I DO believe the Bible to be the Word of God and that I DO believe that Christ came to die for my sins. I would be a fool to discount my own experiences that give testament to this.

Though oftentimes I may seem like a fool to continue trusting in God, whom we cannot see with our eyes or touch with our hands, I will continue to do so because I have faith that the experiences that I have had that are not necessarily physical in nature have been Spirit revealed and are to be trusted.


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In Addendum: Unconditional love is where one loves regardless of what the object of love does or does not do. Leafs fans have often been accused of being stupid and irrational for their unwavering loyalty to their team. That is because Leafs fans truly love their team; whether they win or lose, they have our support. If unconditionally loving is being stupid and irrational, then call me an idiot and a fool.

In the same way, though I do not understand many of the things that the Lord puts us through, as he continually loves me unconditionally, so I will also reciprocate that love - for the only way that I am able to unconditionally love anything is because God first loved us (1 John 4:19).

And in the same way, when you realize that you love someone, then regardless of what they do, we continue to love them. Do we trust them as much as we did before? Perhaps not. Do blindly put our faith in them where they have failed before? Again, perhaps not. But we do not stop loving them.