Insecurity and friendship

I realized today that I often expect my friends to do things exactly the same way that I would expect to be treated. Maybe that's not so unreasonable, one might say... but I've come to the conclusion that in fact it is - unreasonable that is.

A friend of mine made an interesting point on her blog about how our love languages are also the way that we define who our friends (or I guess our good friends) are. I bring up this point only to illustrate the fact that everyone is different, defines friendships differently, thinks differently, processes things differently, and ultimately acts out all those hidden things in different ways.

When those around me don't act the way that I think they should, then suddenly I start to get all these negative thoughts. "What's wrong with that person? Can't they see I'm dropping hints like Atom bombs here? Maybe they think something's wrong with me?" Interestingly my pastor just concluded a sermon series on this EXACT topic a few weeks ago...

Regardless, as I've been thinking about this for the past two hours, I've decided that it's not worth it for me to get all riled up, hold in some sort of odd anger that shouldn't exist and then just getting bitter. That would ruin a perfectly good friendship for no good reason at all.

This thought process is indicative of one thing. Apparently I've started to grow up a bit. I have a terrible habit of holding grudges and for a very long time (if my dislike of the Green Bay Packers is any indication). I'm kind of glad that the grace of God is finally showing through in areas like this and I am able to forgive and move on.

Another realization that I've made is that my writing style has deteriorated dramatically. Maybe it's just a today thing but this blog post seems terribly poorly crafted and disorganized... usually my disorganized posts at least have some kind of flow or substantive oomph behind it... but this time it's just terrible. So before I shoot myself in the foot anymore with bad writing, I'm just going to post and go.

See y'all on the other side.