Fried brains

That's what my brain felt like last night. After 12 hours, I only managed to finish reading two and a half articles and that took longer than I expected, which put me behind on my study schedule by about two articles. Before I got into that, I figure I wanted to post something up here before my brain gets too fried.

I've been having second thoughts, then third thoughts, then fourth thoughts about recent events (not related to my last post about a good day. I still love school and though yesterday did feel like work, I felt incredibly satisfied that I had finished so much or applied myself for so long.) I wonder about emotions, I wonder about logic, I wonder about how those two are even supposed to mix together. Are the mutually exlusive terms? Does one cancel out the other? Can an emotional decision be made logically or must logic be defied when a decision is made based on emotions?

More specifically, (but not too specifically), why do I want to be in a relationship? Is it because I want to be able to say I have a girlfriend? (I can more confidently, though not with completely certainity answer no this question as I think about it) Do I really want to cherish, care for, laugh with, cry with, share with, and be with someone? As my pastor put it, am I getting tired of taking things for myself, and do I now want to give to others? Or is it just me wanting to do those things to get warm fuzzies inside? Then what makes one particular girl more special than any other? Does she just match up with what I see as an amazing girl? (I'm wondering where this line of questioning leads...this is ridiculous... I don't feel like this about other people) So then where does THAT come from?

Or maybe I'm just overthinking the whole thing. Either way, it's a conundrum that I've been unable to sort out and have kind of set aside for now as I prepare for my exam on Sunday.

But a little glimpse into the whacky thought processes of Jonathan Park.

This is why I say the trials begin ;)